


The Influence A Person Can Have

by Annide



Category: Limitless (TV)
Genre: Blood and Injury, Canonical Character Death, Drug Abuse, Fluff and Angst, Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-06
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-09-22 12:52:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9608387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annide/pseuds/Annide
Summary: Sometimes, you meet one person and it changes your whole life. Everything else after that would've been different. For Brian, it all comes back to that moment he met Eli. It seems some people are simply meant to enter your life at the right moment, to stir you in the right direction. From figuring out who he is to falling in love for the first time to getting his life together and even meeting the love of his life, Brian's life wouldn't have been the same.





	1. Love

**Author's Note:**

> Dialogues in italic are direct quotes from the show.

                It was a sunny day in August and a nice breeze could be felt coming inside the open garage door. Brian and Eli had just had their first successful rehearsal with the band they recently formed. Their other bandmate was leaving and, as he was putting away his stuff, Brian still felt energised by how well they'd sounded.

                "Hey, Brian," Eli called, "do you want to go out for egg creams?"

                "When do I ever say no to an egg cream? Let's go."

                They walked side by side, talking about everything they loved about their new band. The great members, the sound, the chemistry, the passion, the talent. Soon they were only taking turn complimenting each other, but it didn't seem any of them had completely realised it. They diverged from their music talent to all kinds of other things until they finally reached the egg cream place.

                "Two egg creams, please." Eli ordered. "On me." He said, as he pushed down Brian's hand who was getting his wallet out of his pocket.

                They sat next to each other at their usual table and drank in silence for a few seconds until Eli broke it.

                "Brian."

                "Yes?"

                "The flirting, is it just flirting for fun, or does it mean something that you flirt more with me than with anybody else?"

                "Why, does it bother you?"

                "No, I just want to know why the special attention."

                There was a nervousness in Eli's voice. He was usually more confident than he sounded now, like he wanted to know, but was afraid the answer wouldn't be the one he expected, not the one he hoped for.

                "It's because I like you, Eli. With everyone else, I'm just playing, but it's real with you."

                Brian and Eli had met a few years earlier, in high school. Brian had fallen asleep maybe ten minutes into his first chemistry class of the school year. It wasn't exactly an unusual thing for him, but this time some guy he shared several other classes with shook him awake.

                "Hey, snoring beauty, wake up."

                "What?"

                "We're picking lab partners and you're the only one left, new guy."

                Brian had been expelled from his last school in June when he'd been caught smoking a joint on school grounds to celebrate exams ending soon. His parents had been furious and he'd been grounded for most of the summer, but they ended up thinking it was for the best and maybe he'd make friends who would be a better influence on him. They were all about to find out.

                "My name's Brian. Great choice partnering up with me, I'm much better company than the empty chair you could've picked instead."

                "I'm sure you are. I'm Eli, by the way."

                From this moment on, Brian and Eli became practically inseparable. They weren't only partners for school projects, but also for a growing number of pranks. They spent most of their weekends together, playing music at either of their houses, dreaming of the day they'd break it big and become famous rockstars.

                Brian couldn't tell for how long he'd waited to finally admit his feelings for Eli. He knew his friend was into guys too. He'd been the first one Eli ever told. He was there to support him when he told his parents, they actually thought he was going to add that Brian was his boyfriend, funny how things turn out sometimes. He was there the first time Eli had his heart broken by a boy and tried to play it tough and unaffected. Brian had ensured he made it through the day, then they'd spent the evening smoking joints and consuming an impressive amount of junk food.

                It was while being Eli's wingman in various gay clubs where they got in with fake IDs that Brian realised he was bisexual. And then it was the same it had been with Eli all over again, but reversed. He told him first, they were both there for his coming out to his parents, they were mistaken for a couple. He was lucky enough that his entire family accepted him, unlike Eli whose dad refused to talk to either of them since learning his son was homosexual.

                Brian and Eli had been through a lot together in the past few years, but they always stuck together and it made them grow closer. It was what scared Brian when he started really liking Eli. Their friendship was so important to him and romantic feelings gave this relationship so much potential to be ruined. Even if he didn't tell him, the tension of what he was hiding would put something between them that would forever change their dynamic. It would be slower, but just as destructive as the truth.

                So there they were. Drinking egg creams together. Eli had brought up the subject of flirting and Brian had seized the opportunity.

                "I was hoping you'd say that." Eli responded to Brian's revelation.

                "Really? How come?"

                "I wanted to turn this egg cream outing into a first date."

                "So you're not scared this will ruin our friendship?"

                "I think our friendship will make our relationship better. We're closer and stronger. Don't you agree?"

                "You're right, what could ever rip us apart?"

                Brian and Eli started laughing like people do at the start of their happiest moment. Both oblivious to the fact that even their relationship could face challenges it wouldn't survive. But now wasn't the time to think about that sort of things. Now was the time to be happy, because they only just got together and everything was new and exciting.

                Eli quickly got up, grabbed Brian's hand and pulled him behind him as he walked, practically ran, outside. He didn't stop until they reached a small park where they used to get high in high school. There he turned around and, now holding both of Brian's hands, simply stood very close to him, feeling the proximity, enjoying how comfortable it was finally being able to be in his personal space for a prolonged amount of time without it becoming weird.

                They ended up spending what was left of the afternoon lying on the grass, staring at the clouds and listening to music on Eli's ipod. Brian almost fell asleep with his head on his new boyfriend's chest. Almost. Because when Eli saw him dozing off, he found him irresistibly adorable and just had to kiss him.

                When Brian brought Eli to dinner a week later, his parents weren't surprised by their news. Dennis always had a feeling these two would end up together. The whole family celebrated Brian finally finding someone. They laughed and they played games until so late in the night, Brian and Eli ended up sleeping over in the former's old room. And that level of happiness is how the first few months of their relationship went.

                "We can still turn around, you know? My mom was disappointed when I told her we wouldn't come today, she would be thrilled to see us if you decided not to go in there." Brian suggested as they stood on the Whitford's front porch on Thanksgiving day.

                "I promised mom we'd be there. We almost never see her, she deserves this one day. It's not her fault my dad and I don't have a good relationship."

                "No, that's his fault for being an homophobic jackass."

                Eli let out a small laugh. "I hope you'll be nicer when we're with him."

                "If that's what you want." Brian leaned over, put his hand on Eli's jaw to turn his head towards him and kissed him slowly. When they separated, Brian seized the moment during which Eli was coming back to his senses to ring the doorbell.

                "What did you do?"

                "We can't stay here all day."

                "I wasn't ready."

                "You'll be fine, I'm right here with you." He slipped his hand in Eli's and smiled encouragingly at him.

                Eli's mom was as nice as ever, maybe a little more because this was Brian's first time seeing her husband since her son's coming out, and more importantly the first time as Eli's boyfriend. Mr Whitford barely greeted them when they arrived and answered Brian's questions with nothing more than grunts of acknowledgment all afternoon. Dinner was going smoothly. The food was delicious and the conversation with Mrs Whitford flowed naturally. Brian kept making her laugh. Then Eli stood up and turned to his father.

                "You can't even look at us? You'll just spend the entire dinner staring down at your plate? That's how ashamed you are? I'm your son, look at me!" Eli practically shouted.

                Brian and Mrs Whitford stared in silence. They both understood why he had to do it, and were proud of him for finally standing up to his father.

                "He makes me happy, dad. You'd see that if you only bothered to pay attention to me. Isn't that what you always said you wanted for me? That I be happy? Well, I am. I'm playing music in a band and I have a wonderful boyfriend who I love. And though we've never actually exchanged those words yet, I assume he does too. Why can't you just accept it?"

                Brian couldn't stop a giant smile from forming on his face when Eli said he loved him. It was a strange way of telling him for the first time, but the feeling was all that mattered.

                "You should leave." Mr Whitford stated, as if it was the obvious thing to do. "I won't accept being talked to like that in my own house."

                "So that's it? You're throwing us out before dessert because I dared stand up to you? You can't even try to understand what I'm saying, won't even try to see things from my point of view? Well, if that's what you want, we'll leave, dad. But once I walk out that door, it's over. We can't repair this relationship if you won't even look at me, if you simply throw me out for speaking the truth. Is that what you want? For your only child to be out of your life for good? Because if I leave now, I'm never coming back into this house."

                "I don't want you here until you come back to your senses and stop this gay nonsense."

                "Well then, Brian, let's go."

                Brian stood up and followed Eli into the entrance, where Mrs Whitford joined them.

                "Eli, honey, you can't do this. I know your father's wrong and it must hurt, but you can't stay away from here forever. I'd miss you."

                "You can visit me anytime you want, or we can go to a restaurant. I'm sure the Finches wouldn't mind having you over to celebrate Christmas with us either. We will see plenty of each other, mom, just not here, not with dad."

                Tears formed in Mrs Whitford's eyes, her lips quivered and Eli took her in his arms as she started shaking from the sobs. Brian stood close, looking affectionately at his boyfriend comforting his mom. They only left once Mrs Whitford had calmed down. She wiped her face and they told their goodbyes.

                "I love you too." Brian said as the door closed behind them.

                Eli felt down in the following weeks. He didn't have the same energy at band practices he usually brought to the group. It was like part of him had lost interest in the music, too wrapped in the sadness of the events from Thanksgiving to feel the passion. Brian feared his boyfriend was drifting away, closing himself inside his own sad mind. He brought up his worries one night as they were having dinner at Brian's place.

                "I don't want you to worry about me, Brian. I'll be fine, I just need a little time to process what happened."

                "Are you sure?"

                "Yes. Even if my dad and I didn't have the greatest of relationships, cutting ties entirely is a big deal and I can't simply get over it."

                "Alright, I believe you. I just get concerned, because I love you."

                "I know. Here, let me cheer you up."

                "You're the one who needs cheering up!" Brian exclaimed as Eli stood and left the room.

                "This'll work for both of us." Eli shouted from the living room.

                Music started playing and Eli came back, a huge smile on his face.

                "Let's dance." He grabbed Brian's hand and pulled him to the other room.

                "Isn't that the CD I made that girl my second junior year?"

                "She missed out on something great, you had stellar taste in music. Still do."

                Brian shook his head and smiled. He couldn't believe he was dating a guy that great. Eli took his hands and they danced, even jumped occasionally, to the rhythm of the music. They went a little crazy with it, inventing moves, just having fun and laughing about it. The last song of the CD was a slow one and Eli wrapped his arms around Brian. They swayed to the soft notes of the love song, holding each other tightly, their foreheads resting on one another.

                Once the song ended, Brian let himself fall backwards on the couch, pulling Eli with him, moving one of his hands from the other man's back to his neck so he could get their lips close enough to kiss. Eli was already unbuttoning his shirt and in no time Brian found himself half naked, kissing his fully dressed boyfriend who was now busy undoing his pants. They both let themselves be overtaken by desire and it led to something better than they'd had in a while.

                Christmas went by without any waves. They spent it at the Finches, with Brian's parents and siblings and Eli's mom. It was a perfect family holiday. They had a wonderful meal together, exchanged gifts and played board games until their eyes wouldn't stay open anymore. It was a complete turnaround from how they celebrated Thanksgiving. Brian was afraid it would sadden his boyfriend, seeing such an accepting family only a month after his father rejected him, but he couldn't have been more wrong. Eli felt so comfortable around the Finches that when Cameron asked his brother about the lease on his apartment ending soon he casually suggested Brian moved in with him. In front of everybody.

                "You're serious, Eli? You want me to move in with you?"

                "We already stay at each other's place all the time, it seems a waste of money to pay for two apartments, don't you think? And I love you, I wouldn't hate having you close even more often."

                "Oh Brian, you have to say yes." Rachel chimed in.

                "Of course, I'd love to, I don't need my sister to tell me to accept my perfect boyfriend's offer to move in with him."

                They started making boxes early in January, right after the holidays. By February 13th, Eli's apartment was full of his boyfriend's various possessions, though practically nothing had been unpacked. The next morning, he was woken up by a strangely cheerful and fully dressed Brian. The sight was even more disturbing once Eli saw the time and realised it was only ten o'clock.

                "Since when are you up before noon?"

                "I know I still have two weeks left, but I thought we'd go by my place today and leave my keys. I don't need them anymore, all my stuff's here."

                "And you want to do this now? It couldn't wait until later in the day?"

                "No. Come on, Eli, get up."

                The confused look on Eli's face didn't disappear the whole time he was showering and putting on some clothes.

                "Why did you need me to come with you? Seems like a pretty straight-forward errand to me." Eli wondered when they reached the now empty apartment.

                As sole answer, Brian opened the door to reveal a whole picnic setup in the middle of what used to be the living room. On an old blanket were various food items perfect for a brunch and two mimosa glasses.

                "Happy Valentine's Day, Eli!"

                "Did you get up early to do all this?"

                "I wanted to surprise you. Do you like it?"

                "I love it."

                Brian smiled brightly, closed the door and they sat down to eat. He had planned this carefully. He had even brought a small radio to make the CD they'd dance to two months earlier play. They ate, they laughed, they danced, they fucked. This day would be one they'd looked back on with nostalgia in future years, on less happy days than this. But for now they could bask in each other's love like nothing could ever touch them, like nothing could ever affect their happiness.

                Brian did leave his keys before they went back to Eli's apartment, which was now theirs. They adapted well to their new living situation. Sure, Brian was a little messier than Eli would've liked, and Eli's tendency to tell him to clean up after himself annoyed Brian sometimes, but they made it work. Nothing could be perfect after all, it'd be boring.

                Brian and Eli's relationship made the envy of everyone they knew. They always found a way to resolve their arguments, when they had some, and they were incredibly happy. Everyone thought they would last forever, that nothing could get between them that they'd be unable to face.

                By June of the next year, their band had played all the bars and clubs they could, some of them multiple times. They had sent their demo to a number of labels and music managers, without any answers. That summer, they toured bars and clubs across New Jersey and other nearby states. But they didn't gain any momentum from it. Brian and Eli spent most of their second anniversary dinner arguing about what to do next. They wasted a lot of time at rehearsal doing the same nowadays.

                "Our break will come."

                "We've done everything we can, Brian. We have to start being realistic about this. It might not."

                It was the same, over and over again, and it made their bandmate very uncomfortable. Up until then he hadn't seen the problem in being in a band with a couple, but the ever more present bickering was making it hard for him to enjoy this anymore.

                "You know what, guys? Why don't we just play for us and maybe we'll make it, maybe we won't? Remove the pressure, because this isn't fun anymore."

                This solution seemed like a good enough idea. They went back to simply making music for their own amusement and the arguments stopped. It looked like everything was back to normal and they were past this. For a while. Unfortunately, Eli was an ambitious man. Unlike his boyfriend, he wasn't content spending his life playing music for fun, working a low-paying job and living in a small apartment he'd barely be able to afford if he wasn't sharing it with someone else. He needed more.

                Eli was unsatisfied with his life and he became moody. And Brian didn't understand his desire for more than this. He still believed their band would make it someday, when he couldn't say though. They started fighting again, more and more often, but mostly at home this time.

                It happened one December afternoon. Brian was sitting on the couch with his guitar, a sheet music and a pencil on the coffee table in front of him. He was working on one of his songs. Eli sat at the other end of the couch and listened to Brian's singing for a moment before he interrupted.

                "Brian, I took a decision."

                "Yeah? What is it?"

                "I'm going to college."

                "What?"

                "I know I'll be a little older than everyone else there, but I decided to go to college. I want to be able to get a better job than what I do now. The band isn't taking off. I want a proper career in case it never does."

                "Sounds like you're giving up."

                "It's only for a little while. Maybe we could still practice during the weekends."

                "I don't care. The band was our dream, it was what we wanted to spend our life on. And suddenly you're changing the plan?"

                "I'm not happy, Brian."

                "Not happy with the band or not happy with me? Cause I get things aren't going great with our music and we fight a lot, and it feels like you've been taking your mood out on me lately. But it's a bad patch, we can make it through this. The band's break will come. In the meantime, we're having fun together, aren't we?"

                There was a hint of a plead in Brian's voice, like he'd felt what was coming and he was trying to stop it. But it was too late.

                "This isn't working. We're not on the same page anymore. We don't even understand each other." Eli said, defeated.

                "No, Eli, I do understand. You don't believe in the band anymore, you'd rather do something else. I get it. Please, we can figure this out."

                "It's no use, Brian. We're too far gone. We grew up and became different people. We don't want the same things anymore and we should go our own ways."

                "No. Eli, stay, please!" Brian begged when his boyfriend went and grabbed already packed bags from their bedroom. "You can't do this. We can work this out. YOU'RE JUST GIVING UP!"

                "I'm sorry, Brian. I do love you, maybe we simply weren't meant to be together forever."

                Eli cupped Brian's cheek and kissed him tenderly, tears flowing down their faces. Brian grabbed his arm and tried to stop him from leaving, but Eli yanked himself away, took his bags and went out of the door.


	2. Loss

                Brian didn't celebrate Christmas at his parents' that year. Instead he spent the holidays in bed, smoking joints, trying to forget how much he was hurting. His family called, each of them, one by one, but he didn't answer. He couldn't face the idea of telling them Eli was gone yet. Saying the words out loud to another person would make it real. His perfect boyfriend had left him.

                It didn't get any better in the following weeks. Without Eli, and with Brian too depressed to write new songs, the band fell in a rut. It wasn't going anywhere and they weren't making any effort anymore. The third member quit in Spring when he realized they weren't going to replace Eli. From that moment, Brian wasn't particularly motivated anymore. He kept regular gigs, but he never played any new stuff. Mainly because he didn't have anything new to play.

                The Finches barely saw Brian all year and were glad when he showed up at Thanksgiving. The feeling only lasted a second though. He'd lost a lot of weight and was high on god knows what, but it wasn't marijuana anymore. The sight scared them. It worried them. They tried to talk to him, but he wouldn't hear them. He was acting like everything was fine, like he was doing okay now. He'd found a way to deal with his break up, as hard as it had been. None of his family members believed any of that.

                At some point, he went to the bathroom and when he came back it was clear he'd taken more drugs. Dennis commented on it, let him know he'd noticed and disapproved. He asked why he did it. Did he really need the drugs? Wasn't he already high enough?

                For sole answer, his son quavered, "I was starting to feel it again. The pain. His absence." Then he collapsed.

                Brian needed to have his stomach pumped and his parents, angry with worry, convinced him to go to rehab. That's where he spent the holidays. There he didn't have to go to work and he spent most of his days sleeping. Once he'd gone through the awful first few days where you're basically writhing in withdrawal pain, of course. But it made him forget why he took drugs, if only for a little while, and so he took the pain. He deserved it for scaring his parents, for driving Eli away.

                When he finally got out in late January, Brian really thought he had a handle on things. He had been feeling so much better these past few weeks. But after a month back in what used to be Eli's apartment, surrounded by stuff that mostly had been picked out by Eli, Brian couldn't handle it anymore. He got drunk and started destroying everything in the middle of the night. The noise woke up his neighbours. The cops were called. He spent the night in a jail cell and came back to an eviction notice on his door. He'd hit rock bottom.

                From that moment on, Brian made more efforts to pull himself together. It had been over a year, it was time to get on with his life. If Eli was going to come back, he would've done it by now. He found himself a new apartment, put away his bong and developed a new positive attitude. He was getting better, one day at a time. However, he never let himself love again after his estrangement with Eli. He only had short relationships, that didn't mean enough to get anywhere. He was afraid to get hurt again, afraid to drive someone else away.

                As it turned out, Eli was there for Brian when he needed him the most. They'd met in high school and together had figured out their sexual orientations and had come out with someone to support them. They'd avoided all the confusion and isolation a lot of kids go through, because they'd entered each other's life at the right time. They'd fallen in love and had to face Eli's homophobic father together. It had been hard, but it had made them stronger in knowing they weren't alone in this. They'd created this band whose break never came and it allowed them to commit to their passion and see how far they were willing to go for it. And seven years after leaving, Eli reappeared in Brian's life just as he was lost and going nowhere.

                Now 28 years old, Brian had just gotten a job as a temp in some big firm. He'd fallen asleep while filing forms into employee files when he was woken up by one of the investment bankers working there. To his surprise, he knew the man, it was his ex-boyfriend, Eli. They went to lunch to catch up. Eli was happy to hear Brian was still making music and hadn't given up on his dream. He was actually interested in what he was doing and even wanted to hear his album.

                " _Eli, there's no album. I haven't written a song in, like, over a year._ "

                Brian admitted vaguely. He knew exactly when was the last time he'd worked on a song. He could still feel the sting of Eli closing the door behind him never to come back. Right now, thinking back to this moment, Brian couldn't look at Eli directly, ashamed of how things had ended, of how he hadn't been able to see his boyfriend's unhappiness with the way things had been going.

                " _Why not?_ "

                " _I don't know, man, I just... can't concentrate._ "

                Brian continued by talking about his dad being sick and possibly dying if no one figured out what was wrong with him soon. That's when Eli offered him a NZT pill. He said it was some kind of neuro-enhancer and it would help him. Brian was doubtful, but he pocketed it anyway.

                "So, it's really nice bumping into you like that, Eli. I missed you, you know."

                "I missed you too, Brian."

                "Are you... seeing anyone right now?"

                "No, what about you?"

                "No."

                "In that case, do you want to see my office?"

                "I'd love too."

                Eli had a really nice office. The door locked and the windows to the hallway had blinds that could be closed. He also kept a minimal amount of stuff on his desk, most of which could be easily swept away without fear of breaking it. Other details were completely missed by Brian who was honestly way too busy undressing Eli to look around.

                "I should've let you take charge more often, Brian, this feels amazing." Eli panted.

                Brian smiled. He couldn't believe he was reunited with him and it was like no time had passed at all. As Brian kissed every inch of Eli's body, he hoped it would lead to more, he hoped they'd be able to put aside what broke them all those years earlier and get back together.  Of course, all thoughts escaped his mind fast enough once Eli really turned the heat up on this.

                Half an hour later, Brian was back to his work. They hadn't made formal plans to see each other again, but had exchanged addresses so they could show up at the other's door unexpectedly. They'd thought it more fun and exciting. It also gave them the option of thinking about this once the dust settled on this chance encounter and see if they actually wanted more.

                In the meantime, Brian decided to try that NZT pill. What did he have to lose after all? It was supposed to help him focus, Eli had said? Well, he did need clarity. To think about them, to fix the mess that was his music, to figure out what was next for him, maybe to find a way to help his father.

                He had doubts about taking it at first because of his history, but this drug was nothing like what he'd experienced before. NZT didn't numb like everything else he'd ever taken. To the contrary, it opened up the connections in his brain, making him more productive than he would've dared dream of. He was suddenly able to remember every single thing he had seen, read, heard or experienced in his life.

                After finishing the task he had been hired to do in hours instead of weeks, Brian got a little carried away. He went on a walk and saw the city in a way he never had before. He talked to people, played chess, did a great guitar solo. All of that before he remembered about his sick dad and rushed to his parents' house to read his brother's old medical books. By the time NZT wore off and he fell asleep, he had figured out what was wrong with Dennis. Unfortunately, it turned out his dad needed a new liver, not an easy problem either. Maybe something NZT could help with.

                Brian was already planning on seeing Eli that day, to tell him how great that pill had been, and because he had never been more sure of anything in his life. He wanted to get back together with him. He had been a jerk before, he never should've insisted so much on making the band their sole priority. He didn't listen and it ended up breaking them. He wouldn't make the same mistake again. He had been struggling with his music for a while and he understood now that not everyone would want to spend their years like that. He was ready to give their relationship another try. And he hoped Eli was too.

                Life can be cruel sometimes. It makes you meet someone, lets you fall in love with them and then circumstances ruin the relationship. Not because you weren't meant to be or you don't love each other enough, the timing is simply skewed. It was too early, you both still had things to figure out about yourself, you needed time to grow before your couple could really make it through the years. And then you meet again, and the timing's right this time, you've both grown and you're ready. You've been given another chance. And this one is the right one. This is it. This time you could actually make it forever. But life is cruel. Life likes to take away something just when it gets good, right before the happy ending.

                Here's the truth. In another life, maybe Brian would've gotten there, Eli would've been waiting for him, they would've had their happy ending and this story would end here. But this isn't what happened. In reality, when Brian arrived at Eli's apartment, the door was ajar and his ex-boyfriend's body was lying on the floor, blood all over his chest.

                Many emotions struggled inside Brian's mind. Heartbreak at the center. However, he only had a few seconds to be in shock and fall to his knees at Eli's side. After that, he heard cops coming. He had to find NZT. And good thing he remembered about the secret stash in the guitar, because the apartment had been trashed, clearly by someone looking for the same thing he now was. Except Brian didn't really care about that pill now, he only needed it to get out of there and figure out who did this. He'd give anything if he could just have Eli back.

                "I'll find who did this to you, I promise." Brian said before going out the window.

                The cops turned out to be FBI and they chased him for a while. He never would've gotten away from them if he hadn't been on NZT. Thanks to reading all employee files while on his temp job, Brian figured out colleagues of Eli who were also on that pill. He found one dead and was almost killed by the other one.

                Edward Morra, the senator, saved him. He also gave him a shot that would immunise him against the side effects of NZT and another pill so he could prove the man who attacked him was the killer. Which Brian did. Then the FBI offered him a job working for their Cross Jurisdictional Command team, the CJC. They wanted to study why he alone could take NZT without suffering the side effects. And while they did that, why not use him as a resource? That pill did incredible things to the brain, after all. It would be a waste not to use it.

                However, Brian had just lost Eli and his dad was sick. He didn't feel like joining the FBI, solving crimes and other stuff like that. Unless they could save Dennis, get him a liver. Then he'd do it. But he couldn't get his life together now, then watch his father die, right after losing the man who could've been the love of his life.

                The agent who would be his liaison, Rebecca Harris, thought it was a lot of him to ask. He didn't have a lot of bargaining power, so why risk it? He didn't care. He was willing to take it if there was even a sliver of hope that he could save his father, the way he couldn't save Eli. Eli who loved Dennis Finch like a father, like the father he should've had. The risk was worth it in the end, because the FBI did get Brian's dad that liver. He never told Rebecca or anyone else she worked with about his relation to Eli though.

                The FBI was putting Brian in an apartment they could monitor, a safe house as they called. Therefore, he had to pack all his things so he could move in that new place by the end of the week. And that's what he was busy doing that Wednesday afternoon when someone buzzed at the door of his building. He almost didn't hear it over the sound of the music playing, he'd put on that CD he used to dance to with Eli, he was trying to remember happier times.

                He wasn't expecting anyone, but it was pouring rain outside so he simply let them in, without asking who it was. He stopped the CD and opened the door, curious. Until he could actually make out the face in the dark hallway.

                "What are you doing here?"

                "Not a very nice way to welcome a guest into your home. Brian, is it?"

                Mr Whitford could barely even remember his name as he stepped inside the apartment.

                "Well, you're not welcome here. I saw Eli recently, he told me you two still weren't speaking." Brian replied.

                "This is none of your business."

                "I think it is. Eli loved me. We may have been apart for a few years, but it didn't change the feelings we had for each other."

                "Brian, I am here to inform you that you are not invited to my son's funeral."

                "What?"

                "We are doing a small ceremony, family only. I don't want you there."

                "It doesn't matter what you want. This is his funeral and Eli would want me to be there."

                "We are not going to advertise his... lifestyle in front of the whole family just so you can feel better, or because you think that's what he'd want. Eli was my son, I knew him well enough to know what he'd want."

                "You haven't even seen him since that Thanksgiving dinner nine years ago!"

                "Nothing you say will change anything, Brian. I am his father. I decide how he will be remembered. And it will not be with you there, crying his loss. Stay home, have a drink, do whatever you want, as long as I don't see you at the funeral."

                Mr Whitford left on these words. Brian stood there, angry and appalled.

                While he couldn't go to the funeral, and he tried, he was blocked at the door, Brian did go to the cemetery. He stayed away, standing under a tree, looking from afar as they buried Eli, without him there to say goodbye. He waited for everyone to leave and walked to Eli's tombstone. He sat in front of it for a while, tears flowing down his cheeks. Brian finally left when the sunset started. Eli was his first love and he would never forget him.

                Brian didn't sleep much that night. He mostly lay down on the couch of his new apartment, dozing off every once in a while, waking up confused, wondering where he was. Until morning when he was woken up by Rebecca Harris. She wasn't alone, three men stood by her side.

                "Brian, it's Monday. Time for you to be put to work."

                "Did I forget to lock the door?" Brian asked as he sat up.

                "I have a key."

                "Who are these people?"

                "This is the doctor who will examine you and try to figure out why you're immune to the side effects of the NZT. These two are agents in charge of protecting you and bringing you your pill every day, they also have keys to this place."

                "Mike and Ike. That's what I'll call you two."

                "They have names."

                "I won't remember them."

                "You know what, you can figure that out with them. I have to go work on a case, have a nice day."

                Rebecca left and Brian smiled at the men in front of him. The doctor seemed very interested in the whole thing and eager to start. Mike was pretty built and looked like the type of guy you didn't want to get on the bad side of, but Brian was convinced he could soften him up. Ike was the kind of person who looked sort of harmless, but would most likely turn out the opposite. Speaking of him, he took a step forward and leaned down a little.

                "Which one am I, Mike or Ike?"

                "Ike, of course. You don't look like a Mike, he does."

                "Jason, don't play along with this."

                "Mike, please, let him do what he wants. Now, don't we all have work to do?"

                "Yes, there you go."

                Ike handed him his NZT pill and Brian stared back at him as he swallowed it. There was something in Ike's eyes, like he could see through him, like he knew he was in pain despite his best efforts to hide it. They had only just met and yet that man might be able to see right through his fun guy façade. And Brian could figure out all of this only by meeting his eyes, before the NZT even kicked in.


	3. Life

                During his first week working for the FBI, Brian didn't leave the apartment. The doctor examined him every day, both before he took NZT and once he was on it. Mostly, he hung out there, testing what he could do while on the pill. He could solve mathematical problems and draw really well at the same time, one hand doing each. He had the ability to do both because he had watched tutorials and documentaries at some point in his life and was not only able to remember them now, but could also put them into practice.

                Brian had always been a crafty person and, at some point, out of boredom, he decided to make marionettes of Mike and Ike. And make them kiss, you know, just for fun. Mike kept standing there, as impassable as he'd been for the past few days. There was no way to get a reaction from him. Ike, on the other hand, was watching what Brian was doing and, while he kept a very professional face, his eyes told a different story. Brian was on NZT, he could remember every facial expression everyone ever made in his presence in his entire life. He could see the laugh Ike was repressing.

                All of these were only distractions though and they worked less as the week went by. He needed something with more substance. He couldn't wait for the FBI to give him actual work to do, some kind of a challenge he would really have to think about. Something that would really take his mind off of Eli. It's probably why, when they had him sit in a file room in the CJC offices the following Monday to learn Farsi, he instead started researching the case Rebecca told him she was busy working on with her partner, Boyle.

                He gave them good insights which really helped them crack their case. However, in order to do so, he had to ditch Mike and Ike a few times. He texted an apology to Ike once before he left, but it didn't seem to make anyone feel better about it. Though Ike seemed to think it was sort of funny. Brian promised not to do it again and Rebecca managed to get her boss's, Naz Pouran, permission for him to go out into the field with her.

                The days were great. Working with the FBI, solving crimes with the super abilities the NZT gave him, it was all a lot of fun. The evenings though, once Brian went back to his apartment alone and the pill wore off, were an entirely different thing. He played videogames and watched an endless stream of tv shows, but it was hardly keeping the grief away. He got high on occasion, but kept to pot, he didn't want to fall back into the dangerous path he'd taken when Eli had left. He was better than this now. And Eli had given him the means to get his life together, with NZT he could be somebody.

                "Finch, is something wrong?"

                Ike asked one day, as Brian hesitated before taking his pill. His immunity shot was wearing off and he was having all the terrible side effects of the drug. Blurred vision, hallucinations, time displacement, pain, among other things.

                "I'm fine." He answered and he threw the clear pill in his mouth.

                Ike still looked worried. Brian had noticed the man seemed to have developed a liking to him. Mike made it clear he was annoyed with him and couldn't wait for this assignment to end, though not unaware of Brian's attractiveness. Ike acted very differently. He played along to his little games, laughed at his jokes and, most of the time, gave him the pill himself.

                Brian had a hard few days. He, in fact, almost died before Morra finally gave him that shot. The senator had been trying to see if Brian would simply follow an order or stick to his principles despite the dangerous situation he was in. After all of this, he gave Brian a few spare NZT pills to show he trusted him.

                "Hey, Finch. Rebecca told me you were feeling better now, but you didn't answer my text. I wanted to be sure you were alright."

                Ike explained when he entered the apartment later that night.

                "I'd really prefer it if you went away. I want to be alone right now."

                "Are you sure? Your voice sounds different than usual. And what are you doing in the dark anyway?"

                "Go away, Ike."

                But Ike didn't leave. In fact, he kept walking towards Brian's voice. He could make out his shape in the obscurity now. The man was curled up on the floor next to the couch and seemed to be shaking slightly.

                "Are you crying?"

                "I told you to GO AWAY!"

                "I'm not going anywhere, Brian." Ike assured him as he sat down and pulled him into his lap.

                "I can't do this. I thought I could, but I can't."

                "What do you mean? The work you've been doing has been extraordinary."

                "No. Eli." Brian whimpered.

                "Is this about Eli Whitford? The guy you were falsely accused of murdering? I don't get it, everyone knows you're innocent now."

                "He still died. I'd just gotten him back then someone killed him for the very pill I now depend on for my job. How crazy is that?"

                "Are you saying you knew him? Does Naz know? Does Rebecca?"

                "No one at the FBI knows about Eli. And don't you say anything."

                "I won't, I promise."

                "The past few days were hard. I just wish he was still there. We hadn't seen each other in, like, seven years, but he came back into my life and it was like no time had passed. Now I need someone and my ex-boyfriend I was about to get back together with got murdered. And I got a job out of it."

                "Eli was your... You know, I'm sure he would want you to be happy. Don't think about it like you got something good out of his death, it's not good to dwell on things like that. The way I see it, he would've been killed for those pills whether or not you'd been there. But because of you, we were able to find who did it. You got this job because you helped get justice for your ex."

                "I miss him so much."

                "I know."

                Ike pulled the other man up into a hug. Nothing could fix the grief Brian was feeling, but a hug and knowing someone else was there for him put a balm on his pain. For the first time in the weeks since Eli died, Brian felt something other than loss. It was faint, but feeling Ike so close to him, hearing him sounding worried and caring, did something to him. He couldn't put a word on it yet and he didn't want to either, but it was there.

                The next day, Brian pretended to be sick so he could have some fun with one of those spare NZT pills. He knew Ike would know he was faking, because he'd stayed with him until pretty late and there was no way he could've gotten sick in the few hours since. However, Ike was now aware of the fact he had just lost someone important to him and was still dealing with that. So maybe he'd think Brian simply wanted a day to pull himself back together, get some rest, grieve properly finally. And it is exactly what happened. Ike went along with it and Mike seemed to believe him.

                Unfortunately, he was kidnapped by the CIA who needed him for a black op during which all the agents involved ended up getting killed. But thanks to NZT, Brian made it out alive. When he finally came back to the CJC and saw the look of relief on Ike's face, he knew he was in trouble. This guy seemed to be falling for him and Brian might not have been impervious to his charms either. Problem was, Brian was too afraid to lose somebody again to let him into his heart. He had secrets now, and he was afraid this would lead to him driving Ike away the way he did with Eli.

                Back to work as usual, Brian learned Ike got this assignment as his bodyguard because his previous boss found him asleep during a stake out. He laughed when he heard it. He couldn't believe they both had this in common, sleeping when you shouldn't be, not at all what you'd expect from a FBI agent.

                A few weeks later, the dispensary where the FBI kept the NZT was robbed. Mike and Ike got there while one of the criminals was still inside. Mike had an issue with the safety on his gun and the robber was going to shoot, so Ike jumped in the way to protect him and got shot.

                "Mike's right. It was my fault. If you hadn't been getting my pills, you wouldn't have gotten hurt." Brian told an unconscious Ike as he sat next to his hospital bed. "And I'll call you by your actual name from now on, Jason. You deserve it. I didn't mean to be disrespectful or anything."

                "You're still here?" Rebecca entered the room a few seconds later.

                "If I can do my work from here, there's no reason for me to go anywhere. I want to be there when he wakes up."

                "You feel guilty, huh? Is it about what Mike said? He was just angry and worried for his partner, you know that, right? None of this is your fault, Brian."

                "What about the fact I didn't care enough to learn his name?"

                "These two are trained FBI agents, if they really hated you calling them Mike and Ike, they would've made you stop. Did he ever complain about it?"

                "No, he never said anything. Maybe you're right."

                "Of course I am. How's he doing?"

                "The doctor said he'll be fine, but we're still waiting for him to wake up."

                "Good. I'll text you if we need you back at the office, keep me updated."

                Rebecca went back to work. Mike visited the next day and Brian talked about the case with him, while playing Ike's favourite song. He wasn't sure if he could hear anything in this state, but he was still trying to make him feel comfortable and appreciated.

                "You'll probably leave now that I got you shot." Brian said once he was alone with Ike again. "Go get yourself a better assignment. I'm sure they'd understand and let you go. Why would you stay in charge of babysitting a grown man who won't call you by your own name and only manages to get you hurt?"

                Brian had to leave not long after that to finish working the case. When he came back to the hospital after everything was over, Ike finally woke up.

                " _Welcome back, Jason._ "

                " _You know, I kinda got used to Ike._ "

                They laughed, causing Ike some pain.

                "Take it easy, man. Don't want you ripping out your stitches."

                "Don't worry, Brian, I'm fine."

                "I wanted you to know, I'm really sorry about what happened. If you hadn't been getting my pills..."

                "I don't blame you. None of this was your fault. Being a FBI agent can be dangerous. Agents get shot in the field all the time."

                "But you're not working in the field, you're my bodyguard."

                "I'm guarding a valuable asset for the Bureau, that always come with a possibility of attack. They wouldn't have given you a protective detail if you didn't need it, Brian."

                "It wasn't me that was attacked, it was the dispensary, with my pills."

                "Stop this. What happened wasn't caused by you. You don't have to feel guilty." Ike put his hand on Brian's forearm and smiled. "Besides, I'm alright now."

                "Does this mean you'll stay?"

                "Where would I go?"

                "Somewhere you won't get shot."

                "I already told you, that could happen with any assignment at the Bureau. I'm not quitting my job. I'll stay and you'll stop talking about this, alright?"

                "Whatever you want, you deserve it."

                "Good, subject closed."

                As Brian watched Ike and talked with him, he realized this was very different than it had been with Eli. This man didn't leave him when things got hard. He didn't even blame him for it. Ike had gotten shot because of his job with Brian and he still wanted to stay near him, despite how annoying he could be. He hadn't taken his chance to get away and it made Brian think things could be different this time. Maybe there was some hope they could be something more one day, maybe they could make it work.

                Brian thought having his arm in a sling would make things harder for Ike, who lived alone, so he offered to stay with him to help him. Ike was surprised by the offer and accepted to move into the safe house with Brian for a few days. They had a lot of fun watching tv and playing videogames at night, sitting next to each other on the couch.

                "Brian, how come you haven't been visiting your family as much lately?"

                It was the middle of the night and they were both lying down on Brian's bed, trying to get some sleep. They'd ended up sharing the bed after long minutes of arguing about it. Brian insisted Ike take it, since he was the one injured and there was no way he was having him sleep on the couch. Ike kept saying he didn't want to impose on Brian and kick him out of his own bed. They finally found a compromise by agreeing the bed was big enough for two people.

                "You noticed that, huh? I just feel bad lying to them all the time, you know? I've never really kept anything from them. Now it feels like I can't tell them what's going on in my life, and I don't know what to talk about anymore. It's easier this way."

                "Don't you miss them?"

                "Of course, I do. But what am I supposed to do?"

                "I don't know, I'm sorry. But I'm always here if you need to talk, or anything else really."

                "You're too good a friend, Ike. I don't deserve you."

                "I care about you."

                Brian still felt sad about the loss of Eli a few months earlier, but he was ready to move on now. The more time he spent with Ike, the more his feelings for him grew. He would always be thankful to Eli for everything he'd done for him, all the great time spent together, but his last contribution had been to give him the NZT which led Brian to the CJC and to meeting Ike and it was time to take the leap. To do what all of this seemed to have been leading to.

                Brian turned to his side, put his hand through Ike's hair then let it rest on his cheek and very slowly came closer until there was no more space between their lips. It was a gentle kiss, slow but full of everything he felt for the man lying next to him. Ike could sense it, how much Brian cared about him. That kiss felt like home, like he'd finally found the perfect person for him. Ike put his good hand on Brian's chest as he kissed him back. He'd never have dreamt this moment would come. They fell asleep in each other's arms, elated over what had just happened.

                They decided not to tell anyone about this yet. They wanted to enjoy it for a while before they announced it and had to fill out those FBI human resources forms. Unfortunately, real life came in the way once again. While they were plenty happy, it didn't stop all the lies and secrets in Brian's life to catch up to him, just as he'd feared.

                Rebecca and the FBI found some of the spare NZT pills, Rachel found the others. Brian was officially in trouble with the Bureau now. His family confronted him about everything too. Marie was more than mad, she was fuming. She actually told him he wasn't welcomed in their home anymore. And as much as Brian was hurt by that, he understood where she came from. She had almost lost him to drugs in the past, of course she would worry about the fact his job consisted of taking one every day.

                Brian had no where left to go, but he knew he couldn't stay. He let Mike and Ike drive him back to the safe house. He also squeezed Ike's hand tightly before they left, hoping this would count as saying goodbye. He stole back the NZT Rachel had found from Mike. He left a letter to Rebecca and a message on Ike's phone. Then he left for Russia. There he was hoping to find a woman he'd met a little while ago, Piper Baird. She was working on recreating the immunity shot Brian was getting from Morra. Now more than ever, he wanted to help her and get himself free from the senator.

                When Brian and Piper had managed to secure the last ingredient she needed, he came back to New York. As he waited for her to finish the shot, he went back to working for the FBI. They were pretty angry at him for his unplanned trip outside of the country. They forced him to start respecting the dress code by wearing a suit, they took away his bong and threatened random drug testing, they even gave him a curfew. However, the worst part may have been facing Ike.

                "You left when we were just starting something. Do you have any idea how that made me feel?"

                "I'm really sorry, Ike. But I had no choice."

                "You could've asked me for help, made me a part of this, anything. Do you know how worried I was? Do you even care?"

                "I didn't want to put you in danger. I'm going up against dangerous people by doing what I did in Russia. I don't want to risk you getting hurt again."

                "I am a trained agent, Brian. I'm way more qualified to handle this than you are."

                "Alright, you're right to be angry with me. From now on, I promise I'll tell you everything."

                In the next few weeks, Brian started working with Rebecca on taking down one of Morra's associate who had gone rogue and kidnapped Piper. He kept Ike informed the whole time. Coming clean about the senator's involvement in all this got Brian cut from his ties with him and thus the immunity shot. He had to stop working for the FBI.

                A month later, NZT started flooding the city and Brian got his hands on some. It helped him get back to the CJC. Things had gotten bad and he brought valuable intel. His immunity wore off, but he kept taking pills despite the side effects. Ike was there for him the whole time, though worried he might die.

                In the end, they managed to catch that man, but they didn't find Piper. It turned out she had escaped during the raid to protect the immunity shot she'd been working on. She was waiting for Brian when he went back to his parents' house where he'd been living since leaving the FBI and stopping the NZT. She gave him this shot, after telling him she'd found a way to make it permanent.

                Now immunised against NZT side effects forever, Brian got his job back at the CJC. They even created a special squad to work on cases with him. Rebecca and Boyle were part of it, of course, and various other people, including Mike and Ike who were delighted not to be bodyguards anymore. Mike insisted Brian start calling him by his real name, Darryl. Ike, however, thought it was nice for Brian to have a nickname for him. Brian only ever called him Jason when he had something really serious to tell him.

                Brian had made it. He'd found a career he enjoyed and met the man of his life. And he would always be grateful to Eli for giving him that first NZT pill who shaped the rest of his life. Brian had grown into the person he was always meant to be and he was happier than ever.

 

Two years later

                When Brian woke up that morning, the space next to him was empty and the apartment was completely silent. Ike must've left for work already. Brian didn't remember him saying anything about needing to go in early, so maybe he'd gotten a call and forgot to leave a note. He ate breakfast like every morning, wondering what could've made his boyfriend leave without telling him.

                An hour later, Brian arrived at work. Ike wasn't in his cubicle, which wasn't unusual as he often worked in the field. Brian figured he would've at least left him a note here at work, so he went to his own office next. He wasn't wrong, there was in fact a message for him. Written in red Mike N Ike Candies were the words "Marry me?" on his desk.

                "I know the red ones are your favourites."

                Ike appeared at the door, looking more nervous than ever.

                "Yes. And that's yes, I'll marry you, Jason, not yes the red ones are my favourites. Though they are."

                Ike beamed with happiness. He couldn't wait to tell the whole world he was getting married to Brian Finch. But for now he simply welcomed his new fiancé into his arms when he closed the space between them and kissed him.


End file.
